HOME

The following article was first published in the Linksman in September 2005

and recorded for posterity in the minutes of the meeting at Mannings Heath the same month,

but now appears with kind permission of its author ...

The Tale of the Mashie Niblick

T’was Tuesday 27th when the Society did meet

This time though it’s gathering was sadly incomplete

No “C” ’s trip to Ireland had deadlines left unmet

And his place upon the leaderboard was surely under threat

As Mannings Heath was glistening in early sunlit dew

The three remaining members with steely looks set to

The Doctor set an early pace with an iron to the green

And then produced the strangest club the Rock had ever seen …

With shaft of warping hickory and rusty blade of iron

This mashie niblick he did boast was playing like a lion

The Doctor braced for birdie, eyed up the bumps and ruts

And then, quite inexplicably, made four appalling putts

His outfield play was excellent, with guileful drives and chips

But sadly when he reached the green, he suffered from the yips

His mashie like a writhing snake, a life all of its own

And with it went the Doctor’s chances, sinking like a stone

Suitcase hacked through woods and trees, traversing wide and far

Appearing at a hundred yards, then up and down for par

But one too many duck-hooks, as his playing partners joked

At seventeen, he gasped for air, and once again he choked

And so with steely focus, and one eye on the HOOM

The Rock took full advantage of the Doctor’s mashie doom

Despite a bout of yips himself, which he struggled to contain

He bagged ten crucial Order points, to take the lead again

On they played till afternoon, to Waterfall they went

The Rock atop the leaderboard, his grim resolve was spent

The Doctor disappointed, the wheels came off again

And Suitcase took advantage, and sealed it with a win

And so adjourned to HPP, the company retired

To taste of the Nupuri spice, a curry much admired

Telling tales of furry cups, and bragging at the bar

And every time a glass was drained, a cry went up ... “Hoorah!”