Antipodean Antics Leave Osprey Flying High

Venue: New Zealand G.C.

Date: 16.07.09

Present: DA, NM, Les Newman (new member)

Guest: Bob Thatcher (should have been playing with the Southover G.S.)

Weather: A glorious summer’s day snatched between the rain-affected rubbish that passes for an English July.

Absentees: HO (!), PB, PE, MD, AD, AB, PM

A day when this member was left wistfully recalling what the other absentees would have enjoyed esp. the organizer of the event namely, Mad Mike Davieeees or ‘Boyo’ as we like to call him. But none more so than the co-founder member and 3 times winner of the Red Jacket, Harvey Richard E4 Osler. Sadly missing his one and only game. A moment of silence was duly observed before the fun and games commenced. This however did leave the field open to his nearest competitors who could seize the day to mount a bid for the title. Leslie ‘the ledge’ Newman finally succumbed to the siren call of the Last Hoorah and joined our ranks on a permanent basis. We also welcomed into the fold a new guest, Mr Robert Thatcher, a gentleman golfer of this parish.

We were made most welcome from the off which disarmed the writer expecting the Club to play up to its elite and traditional reputation. The glorious name of our beloved Society was mounted in a music stand on a table not far from the bar (Ed - photo please). Surrounding us, as we chomped on our bacon sandwiches and enjoyed the usual excited persiflage, were relics from an Edwardian era of golf. In the changing rooms, old wooden lockers bore the names of the good and great who putting their last, expired and had their names lightly crossed out by successors in title. Nearby was battered old leather armchair whose horse hair stuffing was visible witness to many a weary golfer’s heavy fall after a taxing day.

The course was as described by Bob Charles as a ‘little jewel’ and with a yardage of just over 6,000 yds is not long but many of the par fours are 400 yds plus. However there are 5 x par 3’s and only one par 5. The main defence of the course is its narrow, undulating fairways fringed by thick heather and weird well-placed bunkers. Around most greens stand tall, old Pines creating a beautiful backdrop and deadening the sounds from all around. At the 8th a welcoming sight as a blazered steward mixed us Pimms (gin or vodka cup) Kummel or wine. Ah what class. The greens were consistently smooth allowing a well hit putt every chance of finding its target.

As for the morning’s comp., DA and BT shared the honours with 18 pts with DA taking the back 9 with 23 pts. All four players managed a birdie and Les won the par 3 comp. NM started with a lovely run showing good timing and guile in using his little tickle stick to navigate the tight fairways. BT and LN showed a steady flair and assured touch around the greens. A pleasure to see. Lunch was a 4-course buffet inc. a carvery with a chef willing to be ‘chatted up’ for extra helpings. For the record, there were no takers for pud but all enjoyed the cheese board. Not quite Madame Cholay but good enough. Back on the buggies the foozling four sallied forth. This time BT and LN started strongly but ran out luck as the heather wrapped herself around clubs and shoes alike. NM’s swing was back in the groove and there was a definite assured way he scrambled around the greens. But DA took the front 9 again with 20 pts and the back with 21pts to take the game overall. There is something comforting about playing from the cut stuff as NM and DA both left the driver in the bag and trusted to 5 and 3 woods. As we all got the measure of the pace of the greens it all came down to reading the putt. This resulted in some medium-long putts go charging home. BT, NM and LN all came home in 31.Modesty prevents the writer from revealing who won the par 3 comp. and had the only birdie in the afternoon. But enough of the pompous one and his faggish ways, top marks go to the club and staff who left an enduring mark. One to play again was the general feeling of the lucky 4 as they sipped their tea and nibbled homemade cake long after the clubhouse should have closed. The bartender kept smiling and was rewarded with a tip from LN and DA( of the monetary sort).

Finally, we heard today of the sad news of the death of James Tierney’s father. May he rest in peace happy to pass on his enjoyment of life to his son.

(Ed – stats to follow!