MINUTES OF THE LAST HOORAH GOLLFING SOCIETY

VENUE: TILGATE

DATE: 27/04/06

TOUR EVENT #3 of 2006

It still astonishes me that this course remains a little jewel in the Crawley Crown of Trash which hosted the first Hoorah MAJOR in its rich history. The course played well, with a little water under foot, conditions benign at best with a light North Easterly breeze.

Two of the members decided to have a small lunch of seafood brochettes washed down with a pint of bitter and then a generous glass of white wine. This was an elixir to one of the members and a poisoned chalice to the other.

The other two members decided to come slightly earlier and prepare properly for the game.

Eddie started his performance as the true giant he is, cracking a two iron down the tight fairway of the 4^th aka ‘The Governor’ to within 8 foot of the pin. Sadly, both he and RJ (who had also got close in two having spanked a drive and 7 iron) missed the eagle putts. Undoubtedly his best shot of the day. That was for starters and as if his brochette was not enough he melted a beauty down the 10^th to reach middle of the park and wedged a shy 15 foot from the pin for his desert to set himself up for par. Unfortunately, the day was long and the putting did not mirror the marvellous day he would otherwise have had and shots were leaked on the closing holes, in what the Hoorah record book can only describe as his customary manner. You need to get down to the gym my dear boy. Honour goes to this gallant player who at times produced some top golf with particular credit going to his self-imposed penalty for touching the sand in a bunker on the 5^th that guarded the green so well. In fact it was a gossamer of a touch, not even noticed by the on looking snakecharmer and RJ. Your Gary Lineker globe of fair play sits on my desk ready for presentation. Well done, a true fair ambassador for the Hoorah.

‘Sammy’ Barnes driving his first tee shot into the trees. Not the best of starts but oh the trees of Tilgate can be so fickle with their bows and branches almost like arms and hands beckoning you into the their deep bellies of despair, like a first slip ready to catch that fine edge or on this occasion gully - but lady luck was on his side with an almost pin ballesque ricochet he found himself in the light rough and posted a respectable 5 on the first with two points in the bag. From there on a steady round as per Le Barnes with a fine short game and an unlucky four iron on the 14^th which just travelled on and on through the green. To follow a smart chip shot on the 15^th to set up for par was as admirable. An unfortunate and hurried 18^th tee shot marred the day but an even performance with putting stats on top (again!) which secured valuable double HOOM points and a good second place.

There is a sporting resemblance that I have noted with the RJ. Almost like the French rugby team, one day brilliant and mercurial the next lacklustre and uninterested. But what a day, simply majestic almost wizardry, he came with something to prove and he delivered. That hissing, spitting big headed cobra was probably a better investment than his own house ! Fantastic recovery on the par 5, 12^th, despite a lost ball and still carded a 6 when lesser mortals would have been searching for the WD40. Beautiful approach shot to the green on the 13^th to post his second birdie. Only one drive off line down the 16^th where he found himself on the 17^th fairway with tall pines in the way in fact if he was playing at Sequoia National Park he would still have lifted that iron shot over and with a mere whisper in Sammy’s ear I jested that he would probably land his next shot no more than four foot from the pin. I was mistaken, it was 6 foot and with a canny smirk almost embarrassed he waltzed up to the ball for a well deserved par to his own cry of “come on RJ - you deserve this!”. Talk about an up and down. A third birdie at the 17^th with another sand save was followed at the 18^th by an unusual and untoward second shot draw that saw him into the rhodo’s only to score his only blob of the day but none the less double HOOM points and back to pole position - it almost feels that he never vacated that spot.

The snakecharmer, tied for first position up until the 27^th and with a warm glow in his belly, created by that last glass of wine started with an untypical draw with a five iron to find himself down the middle. Not bad but thereafter a poor second and third to card a six. Then at the second took another six with an unfortunate bounce on the second shot that saw him at the foot of a bush. Then the 4^th , The Governor, ripped his heart out, consumed it with a little Chianti and then spat it out mercilessly. To card a 7 on the 4^th and the little brown fellow looked even smaller than he was and his day was doomed (Mr Mannering, doomed) head down shoulders slumped nothing could help him not even if Liz Hurley came out of the bushes reminiscent of a Benny Hill sketch clad only in a bikini and sucked him off would put a smile on his face. The HOOM had got to him, cracked, pressure too much. But still fought on and carded a second equal spot with the luggage on the back nine. What are the stats for pissing the most on a course?

And now the gallery of stats are appended from RJ. Makes interesting reading and it is RJ to organise the next meeting.

Anecdote by RJ

It is perhaps worth noting as the modest snakecharmer failed to mention it, that as he sobered up, his golf improved significantly hitting in the end some 11 greens; a bit of fortune with the blade, and the could certainly have challenged on the day.

Results by Stato

Tilgate 27 April 2006

	HO	PB	DA	NM
Front Nine (stableford)	23	17	19	11
Back Nine (stableford)	21	16	13	16
Overall (stableford)	44	33	32	27
Gross score (18 holes)	79	90	89	94
Gross score (4 par 3’s)	+1	+5	+4	+4
Birdies	3	0	2
Putts	32	30	36	34

The winners for the meeting were therefore as follows:

Front Nine: HO 23 points

Back Nine: HO 21 points

Overall: HO 44 points

Par 3’s: HO +1 (4 holes)

Birdies: HO 3

Each player now puts £6 into the pot, £1 for each comp which are worth £4 each. Prize money (no money put in yet) is as follows:

HO £19

PB £4

NM £0

DA £2

(note NM has paid £5 to HO), PB owes £2 to HO, NM owes £1 and DA owes £4

Handicaps & HOOM

Player	Exact H/C	Meddle Score Today	Adj To H/C	New Exact H/C	New Playing H/C	OOM Before Game	OOM Points Today	OOM After Game
HO	14.6	+7	-2.4	12.2	12	4	20	24
PB	15.0	+18	+0.9	15.9	16	4	12	16
DA	12.6	+17	+1.2	13.8	14	16	6	22
NM	12.6	+22	+2.7	15.3	15	16	2	18