The Last Hoorah Golfing Society

Minutes of November & December Meetings

Date: 9 November 2005 & 15 November 2005

Present: HO, PB, DA, NM

Venue: East Sussex (West Course)

Penning these minutes some two months after the memorable events on the 18^th green on the West Course back in mid-November has been a challenge, but we have to thank a man, a competitor, nay a Hoorah-vian, who carried himself with pride to the last, who has given up a little of his oh-so-valuable time to commit such events to pen and paper for posterity.

Gentleman, I give you “More Tales of Derring-do, High Jinks and General Capers from the Hoorah-vian Annals (or How the Last came First and a jacket was donned with Pride) ...

More Tales of Derring-do, High Jinks and General Capers from the Hoorah-vian Annals (or How the Last came First and a jacket was donned with Pride

Gentleman of the Last Hoorah, I need not remind such a learned and august body that History is written by the victor but as Vic was busy it falls to me to write the final missive of our inaugural year. What a year!

9 November 2005

We have seen many a fine drive particularly from big M. Fancy winning the longest drive at the Southover Golf Soc. on our penultimate meeting-held at E. Sx (w) with a three wood ! There’s only word for that sort of thing…bloody prodigious. Well done, ASBO.

The day will also be remembered for the purple passage that Mc Osler went through in bagging no less than FOUR BIRDIES. Just when I thought I was going to finish the year winning the birdie pot Hamish storms home with a personal best. Don’t ever tell me again you’ve got the yips, I’m not listening. Can’t recollect much of the early holes other than driving the buggy into a sand dune ... probably one of my better drives.

At the turn The Rock was tied with The Maharajah whilst Valise was doing his impersonation of hand luggage and the Doc was just about off the radar even playing off an outrageous 24 hcp. Still, all that was to change and as ol’ grandpappy Aspey used to say “show me a man who can laugh at defeat and I’ll show you a Caribbean chiropodist with a sense of humour” (apologies to the late Ronnie Barker for that one).Well, I thought I saw Linksy’s head drop slightly when we arrived at the half-way house only to find it shut. That was a signal for the laggard to get arse in gear and 9 holes and 24 points later The Doc had won the back 9 and finished neck and neck with the Rock. Hoorah! But what of the Suitcase I hear you shout. There’s only one word for the youngster’s back 9…Samsonite. He gave up hitting the usual bananas (sorry patented fade) and in a peerless display of straight driving and steady putting clocked up 21 points and victory. Huzzah. Scores attached thanks to Stato.

15 November 2005

The following week the last meeting of the Fantastic Four was held at….E. Sx(w) a Groundhog day if ever there was. For three of the Titans there was all to play for as the permutations of the final placings meant that the hallowed red jacket could be on the shoulders of Big M, Rocky or Sinatra Barnes.

Four decent opening drives and battle was joined it was eyeball-to-eyeball, toe-to-toe but what was this Hamish hits a thin one into bushes and only scrambles a bogey. Onto the 2^nd with still a long way to go but with HO and PB off the lowest hcps on the day (16) Hamish would have to start firing on all cylinders- but no what’s this another errant shot and a lost ball on the 5^th would see HO dropping off the pace and ground being made up by big M and Monsieur Valise. At the turn a gratifying sight met our eyes …signs of life in the half-way house; a cup of tea, a warm smiling welcome and an outstanding egg and bacon bap. Ahh what baps.. Even more surprising was the sight of the Doctor running away with it on 24 pts. Clearly the others were focusing on the bigger picture. But it twasn’t to be as the lake on 10^th claimed 2 of my balls and my first blob. The Rock re-focussed for a final charge to the line.

As they arrived at the 18^th, it seemed that everything was still to play for “as they lay”. The Rock broke the mounting tension on the 18^th tee box with a timely wish of “good luck” to the Maharajah as he stood up to address the ball; the good spirit was reciprocated when the Rock stood up to strike his final drive of the year ...

Despite a bogey at the last, the venerable Doc, on his 12^th attempt, putted out to record his first outright LHGS victoire. HOO-FUCKING-RAH!

But, as he turned round to receive the applause there was some kerfuffle and unfinished business as HO, NM and PB putted out for the tournament. YAWN. NM sank a pressure putt at the urging (and to the subsequent elation) of PB but it was still unclear: was it PB or HO as we retired to the clubhouse for the final reckoning?

After a number of checks, recounts and adjudications, it finally became clear that in fact with DA bagging 10 points on the day (which was assured even before he teed off on the 18^th), in fact nothing could have stopped HO from claiming the one point he needed to be certain of victory over PB, and in fact with PB coming 3^rd (behind NM) on the day, in the end NM pipped PB for overall 2^nd place; but who cares who came second? The day belonged to DA and the year to HO!

And so as the setting sun slid slowly o’er sylvan Sussex, a crimson jacket was eased on by our noble winner. Ladies, laddies and those of the Rose-drinking persuasion, I give you Stato, Linksman, Hamish Mc Osler. He may have come last in the last match but let the record show he was our first in the first year….of the last hoorah…hoorah! (Is it me or is there an echo in here?)

FOR THOSE OF US ABOUT THE ROCK, WE SALUTE YOU.

Results (9^th November) (HOOM #11)

	HO	PB	DA	NM
Front Nine (stableford)	23	22	18	23
Back Nine (stableford)	19	21	24	17
Overall (stableford)	42	43	42	40
Gross score (18 holes)	84	83	90	87
Gross score (4 par 3’s)	+3	+2	+3	+5
Birdies	4	0	0	1

The winners for the meeting were therefore as follows:

Front Nine: HO (c/b from NM) 23 points

Back Nine: DA 24 points

Overall: PB 43 points

Par 3’s: PB +2 (4 holes)

Birdies: HO 4

Handicaps & OOM

Player	Exact H/C	Meddle Score Today	Adj To H/C	New Exact H/C	New Playing H/C	OOM Before Game	OOM Points Today	OOM After Game
HO	18.0	+12	-1.8	16.2	16	58	4.5	62.5
PB	17.6	+11	-2.1	15.5	16	46.5	10	56.5
DA	24.0	+18	-2.4	21.6	22	39.5	4.5	44
NM	19.4	+15	-1.6	17.8	18	53	1	54

Results (15^th November) (HOOM #12)

	HO	PB	DA	NM
Front Nine (stableford)	16	19	24	19
Back Nine (stableford)	18	16	17	17
Overall (stableford)	34	35	41	36
Gross score (18 holes)	91	89	89	90
Gross score (4 par 3’s)	+2	+5	+5	+3
Birdies	0	0	0	0

The winners for the meeting were therefore as follows:

Front Nine: DA 24 points

Back Nine: HO 18 points

Overall: DA 41 points

Par 3’s: HO +2 (4 holes)

Birdies: None!

Handicaps & OOM

Player	Exact H/C	Meddle Score Today	Adj To H/C	New Exact H/C	Final Playing H/C	OOM Before Game	OOM Points Today	OOM After Game
HO	16.2	+19	+0.9	17.1	16	62.1	1	63.5
PB	15.5	+17	+0.3	15.8	16	56.5	3	59.5
DA	21.6	+17	-2.0	19.6	20	44	10	54
NM	17.8	+18	0	17.8	18	54	6	60

Final daily stats (every picture tells a story!)

	HO	PB	DA	NM
Front 9 wins	3	2	3	4
Back 9 wins	6	2	2	2
Overall wins	3	3	1.5	4.5
Par 3 wins	2.833	3.833	3.833	1.5
Total birdies	10	3	7	5

And there you have it ...

p/w/lh/11 & 12 - minutes – nov & dec 2005