The Last Hoorah Golfing Society

Minutes of September Meeting

Date: 27 September 2005

Present: HO, PB, DA

Venue: Mannings Heath (Kingfisher & Waterfall – the Double Whammy)

General

This meeting, sadly missed by NM due to pressures of work (and too much weekend golf with another society, a matter into which there will need to be some sort of member’s enquiry) doubled as the September meeting and the missed February meeting, with the Hoorah Society scoring another first – playing 36 holes in one day, ably assisted by buggies.

It was (as ever) a day of mixed fortunes and things that might have been – if DA had putted better, if PB had driven straighter, if HO hadn’t been the victim of appalling misfortune on the 17th plugging into the Hellhole bunker ...

There were no real incidents of buffoonish note, but on balance the Rock should probably retain the President’s putter after initially leaving his car keys on display in his boot, and then spending the last 15 minutes on the Waterfall chasing round in his buggy to find a missing wedge that turned up in PB’s bag. DA put in a challenge after wholly failing to meet HO and PB in the New Inn and heading off to start on his curry alone.

As to the golf, the writer was so ensconced in battle, that he is unable to recall much of the events that day, but fortunately an onlooker appears to have followed the days events and placed an article in “The Linksman”, the journal which closely follows this Honourable Society; and a copy of this article is faithfully set out on the following page.

There should be some mention though of a distinct return to form from PB who shot 83 in the afternoon on the more difficult Waterfall course, posting his best meddle score of the year, and a late surge could yet see him challenge for the HOOM, which has now opened up somewhat with NM scoring nul points for both meetings.

And now, as promised the article from “The Linksman”:

The Tale of the Mashie Niblick

T’was Tuesday 27th when the Society did meet

This time though it’s gathering was sadly incomplete

No “C” ’s trip to Ireland had deadlines left unmet

And his place upon the leaderboard was surely under threat

As Mannings Heath was glistening in early sunlit dew

The three remaining members with steely looks set to

The Doctor set an early pace with an iron to the green

And then produced the strangest club the Rock had ever seen …

With shaft of warping hickory and rusty blade of iron

This mashie niblick he did boast was playing like a lion

The Doctor braced for birdie, eyed up the bumps and ruts

And then, quite inexplicably, made four appalling putts

His outfield play was excellent, with guileful drives and chips

But sadly when he reached the green, he suffered from the yips

His mashie like a writhing snake, a life all of its own

And with it went the Doctor’s chances, sinking like a stone

Suitcase hacked through woods and trees, traversing wide and far

Appearing at a hundred yards, then up and down for par

But one too many duck-hooks, as his playing partners joked

At seventeen, he gasped for air, and once again he choked

And so with steely focus, and one eye on the HOOM

The Rock took full advantage of the Doctor’s mashie doom

Despite a bout of yips himself, which he struggled to contain

He bagged ten crucial Order points, to take the lead again

On they played till afternoon, to Waterfall they went

The Rock atop the leaderboard, his grim resolve was spent

The Doctor disappointed, the wheels came off again

And Suitcase took advantage, and sealed it with a win

And so adjourned to HPP, the company retired

To taste of the Nupuri spice, a curry much admired

Telling tales of furry cups, and bragging at the bar

And every time a glass was drained, a cry went up ... “Hoorah!”

Results – Kingfisher (am)

	HO	PB	DA
Front Nine (stableford)	19	18	16
Back Nine (stableford)	18	18	16
Overall (stableford)	37	36	32
Gross score (18 holes)	83	88	91
Gross score (4 par 3’s)	+3	+3	+3
Birdies	0	0	1

The winners for the morning meeting were therefore as follows:

Front Nine: HO 19 points

Back Nine: HO 18 points (on countback from PB)

Overall: HO 37 points

Par 3’s: HO, PB, DA +3 (4 holes)

Birdies: DA 1

Handicaps & OOM

Player	Exact H/C	Meddle Score Today	Adj To H/C	New Exact H/C	New Playing H/C	OOM Before Game	OOM Points Today	OOM After Game
HO	13.8	+13	-0.3	13.5	14	42	10	52
PB	17.6	+18	0	17.6	18	24.5	6	30.5
DA	17.0	+21	+1.2	18.2	18	29.5	3	32.5
NM	17.3	dnp		17.3	18	43	0	43

Results – Waterfall (pm)

	HO	PB	DA
Front Nine (stableford)	16	21	18
Back Nine (stableford)	15	22	15
Overall (stableford)	31	43	33
Gross score (18 holes)	91	83	92
Gross score (4 par 3’s)	+2	+1	+5
Birdies	1	1	1

The winners for the afternoon meeting were therefore as follows:

Front Nine: PB 21 points

Back Nine: PB 22 points

Overall: PB 43 points

Par 3’s: PB +1 (3 holes)

Birdies: HO, PB, DA 1 each

Handicaps & OOM

Player	Exact H/C	Meddle Score Today	Adj To H/C	New Exact H/C	New Playing H/C	OOM Before Game	OOM Points Today	OOM After Game
HO	13.5	+19	+1.5	15.0	15	52	3	55
PB	17.6	+11	-2.1	15.5	16	30.5	10	40.5
DA	18.2	+20	+0.6	18.8	19	32.5	6	38.5
NM	17.6	dnp		17.6	18	43	0	43

Other Business

Having made up the missed meeting it remains for PB to organise the October meeting provisionally scheduled for 26 October at Lewes where it is hoped some good scoring can be achieved.

p/w/lh/09 - minutes – sept 2005