The Last Hoorah Golfing Society
Minutes of June Meeting
Date: 20 June 2005
Present: HO, PB, DA, NM
Venue: Hever GC
“New
shoes, new shoes!!”
Such
were the taunts as the Hon. Sec. PB settled the buffoon-of-the-month issue
before a ball had been struck in anger. Having convened at Chateau Osler, Lucky
(aka Monsieur des Six Fromages) took driving responsibilities with the aid of
his swanky SatNav and (so the cynics would say) in the knowledge that there
would be no boozing after the game. The Society had toured much of the back
roads of Sussex before PB cried out in anguish “my shoes, my new shoes” and
insisted on a u-turn to Chateau Osler to collect the same. He was derided
without mercy and without pause, and was duly elected buffoon without further
ado.
Leaving
the comfort of Lucky’s air conditioning behind, the Society eventually arrived
in the stifling heat of the Hever mid-day sun; a stunning venue restoring a
little (but not enough) of PB’s credibility.
True
to form, the Doctor took off like a greyhound, and looked invincible ... until
age caught up with him ... at the sixth hole ... where he was to succumb to his
demons at the par 3’s, with a top into the pond. The Society had a whip round
for the WD40 but not enough could be secured to prevent a disastrous total of
+8 at the par 3’s that was to end DA’s hopes. His tantrum on the par 3 twelfth
is preserved for posterity on video, where his “tossing of the caber” can just
be discerned; he was last seen trawling the stream for his missing wedge.
In
juxtaposition, HO’s hopes sank on the par 5’s with a couple of 8’s on the front
nine. He did manage to salvage some valuable points in the HOOM with a grinding
back 9, helped it must be admitted to some degree by NM three-putting with the
President’s putter on the 18th which cost him the back nine. This moment was,
the Society will be pleased to learn, also recorded for posterity.
A
return to some form from PB also faded on the back 9, but he must be highly
fancied in the forthcoming events playing off 16.
Hats
off in the end though to NM; it is clear now what an extraordinarily prescient
move shooting 95 at Mannings Heath has turned out to be, and there must be
something of a steward’s enquiry into the allegation that he deliberately
“chucked” strokes. His form rediscovered, he was impossible to match playing
off 16, yet ironically Hever was sufficiently tough that despite winning, he
actually increases to 17 for the next tour event. Perhaps three putting with
the President’s putter was not such a bad move, but it didn’t stop NM
complaining that he would otherwise have hoovered up the back nine in addition
to the front nine, overall score, par 3’s and made the only birdie of the day.
He also made tour history with the first level par tally at the par 3’s.
And
so, Hon. Members, to the results ...
|
|
HO |
PB |
DA |
NM |
|
Front Nine (stableford) |
13 |
16 |
16 |
17 |
|
Back Nine (stableford) |
18 |
14 |
12 |
18 |
|
Overall (stableford) |
31 |
30 |
28 |
35 |
|
Gross score (18 holes) |
90 |
92 |
94 |
89 |
|
Gross score (4 par 3’s) |
+2 |
+4 |
+8 |
Level |
|
Birdies |
0 |
0 |
0 |
1 |
The winners for the month were
therefore as follows:
Front Nine: NM 17 points
Back Nine: HO 18 points (countback from NM)
Overall: NM 35 points
Par 3’s: NM Level (5 holes)
Birdies: NM 1
Player
|
Playing
H/C
|
Exact H/C
|
Score Today
|
Adjustment
|
New H/C
|
|
HO |
12 |
11.8 |
+18 |
+1.2 |
13.0 |
|
PB |
14 |
14.0 |
+20 |
+1.8 |
15.8 |
|
DA |
13 |
13.4 |
+22 |
+2.7 |
16.1 |
|
NM |
16 |
16.4 |
+17 |
+.03 |
16.7 |
NM
to arrange July and PB still to re-arrange the missed February meeting
p/w/lh/06
- minutes – june 2005