The Last Hoorah Golfing Society

Minutes of March Meeting

Date: 24 March 2005

Present: DA, NM, HO, PK & JH

Venue: Mannings Heath (Waterfall)

General

Once a Man Of Kent always a Man Of Kent; when the going gets tough, a Man Of Kent runs away; secretary Barnes set an all time Last Hoorah record by retaining the buffoon-of-the-month award due his inexplicable absence … one minute he was talking a good game, the next … no show. He did allege some mystery virus but returned to work the next working day … still talking a good game.

Secretary Barnes was duly sacked once again, and immediately reinstated as society secretary for the same reasons as before … no one else wants the job and he wasn’t there to argue his case.

Since preparing these minutes initially, it has come to light that Dr Aspey came very close to stealing Sec Barnes’ crown of buffoon-of-the-month; it appears that in scoring for guests Kneath and Humphreys, Dr Aspey managed to transpose the said guests’ scores over the back 9 holes causing havoc and confusion in the records department. As Dr Aspey has fled the country to evade questioning, the matter will be left in abeyance until the next meeting.

Proper golf was finally played in 2005, by the remaining members of the honourable society at least, as Spring came to Mannings Heath and sunshine golf flowed.

Messrs Patrick Kneath and Jason Humphreys were duly welcomed as guests, but permitted an introductory trial run without paying into the pot for the usual monthly awards. They distinguished themselves, especially in the bar afterwards, if not on the golf course.

It should also be noted, again since preparing these minutes, that the integrity of certain members has been called into question. It is now apparent that

(a) Mr Mukherjee failed to advise his playing partners that his revised handicap has in fact been 11 (not 12) since Chartham Park; and

(b) Dr Aspey attempted to play off 14 (instead of 12) when initially marking his card.

I would remind the less-than-honourable members that it is their responsibility to ensure they cite their correct and up to date Last Hoorah handicaps when playing, details of which can be found at the foot of these minutes.

And so to the formalities…

Results

The overall scores were as follows:

	HO	NM	DA	PK	JH
Front Nine (stableford)	21	13	24	8	9
Back Nine (stableford)	24	14	17	9	15
Overall (stableford)	44	27	41	17	24
Gross score (18 holes)	76	95	79	109	106
Gross score (par 3’s)	+1	+3	+1	+8	+1
Birdies	2	0	2	0	0

HO, NM & DA each paid £5 into the pot, and the awards for the month were duly allocated as follows:

Front Nine: DA 24 points

Back Nine: HO 23 points

Overall: HO 44 points

Par 3’s: HO & DA +1 each

Birdies: HO & DA 2 each

As only £3 was available from the birdie pot, HO is owed £1.

Handicaps

Player	Playing H/C	Exact H/C	Score Today	Adjustment	New H/C
HO	12	11.8	+4	-1.6	10.2
PB	12	12.0	N/A	N/A	12.0
DA	12	12.2	+7	-1.0	11.2
NM	11	11.0	+23	+2.4	13.4
PK	18	18.0	+37	+5.7	23.7
JH	18	20.0	+34	+4.8	22.8

Other Business

HO to arrange April’s meeting, PB still to re-arrange the missed February meeting.

p/w/lh/03 - minutes - march 2005